Here at ubiCabs, enterprise is what part of our name would stand for if there was an ‘e’ in it. So start-up are we, that even our pet dogs attend online digital marketing meet ups. In that spirit of enterprise, we’ve set up a fledgling moving picture company. It is called UBI, as that has a nice sort of ring to it (well, everyone else seems to think so).
Anyway, you’re most probably thinking “what’s with this left-field segue from London minicab booking to film production?” Well, things aren’t quite what they seem. You see, UBI doesn’t just make any films. Oh no. It specialises in the conceptualisation and remaking of classic movies with, and here’s the twist, minicabs in them. It’s really just an extra revenue stream. Now isn’t that start-up?
Anyway, we’re going to just put it out there and say that if you want to invest/run an affiliate scheme/place banner ads in our productions, you can get in touch right now. We’ve included an example of the kind of thing we’re talking about below, but in return for your enthusiasm, getting involved at this point garners special rates. Two paragraphs later, the deal won’t be as favourable. You have been warned, and we will check who scrolled.
Pitch # 1 – That Bit from Pulp Fiction When the Boxer is in a Taxi, but with a Minicab Instead of the Taxi
Minicab driver: Mister. Hey mister.
Minicab driver: Are you a boxer?
Minicab driver: I used to be a boxer.
Minicab driver: Yes.
There is an uncomfortable silence for a minute. The boxer begins getting changed out of his boxing gear on the back seat
Minicab driver: Yes, yes. Now I am a trainer. I train young fighters. [He looks in the rear view mirror] Sir? Sir!
Minicab driver: Sir. You cannot take your pants off in the back of my minicab. You are very sweaty. There is a £30 cleaning charge.
Boxer: I’ll put my pants back on if you give me one of those cigarettes you’ve got there.
Minicab driver: Cigarettes? There is no smoking in this Zafira sir. Please observe sign.
Minicab driver: Don’t worry sir, we’re nearly at your destination.
Boxer: That was a very timely journey. I am most impressed.
Minicab driver: Thank you sir, and by the way, the other boxer you were fighting, he is dead.
The stunned silence which has momentarily descended is punctured after a few seconds by the gently repeating chime of the driver’s ‘seatbelt unfastened’ alarm. They have arrived, and he has disembarked to open the door.
Please direct all business enquiries relating to UBI film productions to ubiCabs, the taxi and minicab app, where they will be promptly binned. Any and all suggestions for future productions though, whether submitted in the comments section, on twitter or Facebook, will most likely be made and appear on this blog, so don’t be shy.